Just recently, my roommate and I have come across this beautiful article from familyshare. It challenges couples to ask their spouses three questions and see what happens next in their marriage. It's like reflecting together as a couple since many couples don't have the time to pause from each other's busy lives to connect with each other.
However, answering these three questions has really made a difference, and I challenge other couples to also take the time and answer these as well...honestly...without anyone getting "pikon".
What in our marriage do we need to stop?
The answers here could be numerous - my excessive OCness in our home and his drinking with friends, but we realised, seriously we can live with those. But what really got to stop, and we completely agreed on this one, is bringing up the past. Sometimes kasi when it happens (I'm sort of guilty of this one), we tend to argue more.so instead of just trying to resolve what's happening in the present, it becomes another topic of argument. And we agreed, this has to stop since its not healthy anymore - its slowly killing our relationship.
More so because my roommate has the tendency to forget those things he doesn't want me to remember while I, on the other hand, remember everything.
It's a challenge, but yes, we should stop bringing up the past.
What in our marriage do we need to start?
Since my issues before (ooops! not bringing up the past!) was discovering some things I was not suppose to discover, we now agree that we have to start telling the truth all the time...no matter how small, even if it hurts, even if the other would go WTF because of the other's irrational, thoughtless, spur of the moment decisions, we should always CHOOSE to tell the truth.
I told my roommate before that if he doesn't want me to find out something, make sure that the universe conspires with him - no matter what happens, he better make sure that I will never, ever, find out because if I do, even if it happens 50++ years ago, I would still get mad.
Which brings us to not bringing up the past and simply, just tell the truth. And we know, life will be much simpler.
What in our marriage do we need to continue?
Here, the list goes endless. He likes that we continue to pray the rosary every night, that we find time to be together despite our busy schedules, and other teamhernandez traditions that we love. We also wish to continue loving each other despite our own limitations and weaknesses and putting God in the centre of our relationship and our family. I feel that we should also continue (and improve on) consulting each other before making decisions that will affect all of us. We're still perfecting this one, but I truly love how we understand when to laugh at a situation and when to truly sit down and be serious with it.
I can say that the good 15 minutes we took the time to answer these questions was very fruitful and fun, too, since we got to be talking about the things we didn't know how, or probably afraid, to talk about. We're happy that we have taken the challenge, and again, I wish to encourage other couples to do the same thing, too. Perhaps you would also discover more in your marriage and in your relationship with your spouse.ü