My First Ever Real Mother's Day

Today, we celebrate Mother's Day, and this one is particularly special to me because it's my first ever real mother's day -  today, our household celebrates a ME day!

My roommate (my husband, btw) and I have always prayed for a baby, and it's rather fortunate that we have the same understanding of wanting to conceive right after we got married. And we did! a honeymoon baby whom we wanted to name, "Hector" as in Hector, Prince of Troy.

Princess Watermelon, bed space invader 

Sadly, 5-6 weeks in my pregnancy, I started bleeding profusely, was rushed to the hospital, and found out that we had lost the baby. The pain of losing what could have been our first bundle of joy was so surreal that it had taken us several weeks before we could talk about it. Of course, we could not bring ourselves to celebrate Mother's Day that year because the feeling was, "I was...but not anymore."

With God's grace, almost exactly a year after, we conceived again. Imagine the joy and our anticipation when we saw those two clear lines (we repeated the test several times just to make sure), the baby's first heartbeat, and watch that little gummy bear grow and grow and grow each month. It was heaven!

That year, though, I told my roommate that no Mother's Day celeb was gonna happen because we simply didn't want to jinx anything. Yes, somehow, pregnancy had made me a bit superstitious.

And this year, on Baby Charley's 5th month, teamhernandez household celebrates our first ever real mother's day. I was jovial, no ecstatic with the thought that finally (!) I'm a mommy.

Exactly my thought! 

Unlike most mothers who probably celebrate this day "extra extra special", I simply shared meals with my roommate and screaming offspring whom we suspect has been starting to teethe already as she is extra grumpy recently, pray our nightly rosary, and watch movies in our Pro before going to bed.

And you know what, for me, it's perfect. We may not have dined in those fancy restos or have those lovely bouquets of tulips (although i really wanted those Pandora charms badly), but celebrating the day with my two most favourite persons in the world - my roommate (my loving husband, the pillar of my strength, and the one who will pay for my bail if I go to jail) and Baby Charley (our princess watermelon, bed space invader, and the answer to our prayers and all those novenas to St Gerard and St Marie Eugenie) - is how I pray the day would go.

Surely, I'll be celebrating more and more Mother's Day with these two crazy people, but nothing can ever be more special than our first year together...my first ever real mother's day!

Teamhernandez 

Mini Vacations from Baby Charley

New mommies, you’ve got to admit, there were times you wish you were anywhere else but with your child. For someone whose independence and time for myself are a top priority, I need mini vacations from Baby Charley everyday. These are just 5 – 30 minute breaks from her so that I could recharge my energy or reset my mood.

Dates with my roommate

In fact, every time I come home from work, I would pause for 2 – 3 minutes by the doorstep. I would simply breathe and remind myself, “Hey, you’re at home now. Leave the tiredness here, the pressure from work, and the traffic stress coming here.” After this short meditation/mini vacation, I would be somewhat physically but very emotionally ready to face my loving roommate (my husband, btw) and Baby Charley.

Restroom breaks are such joy especially when Baby Charley is on exorcist-level. I would hand her to my roommate and use the “I gotta pee/poop/take a bath/check if I have period” excuse. It was a glorious 5-minute mini vacation.

Besides free food and Wi Fi, another thing I love about visiting relatives in Batangas is free yayas in persona of grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins. They’re so excited to see Baby Charley (since we live in Makati) and couldn’t wait to hug, snuggle, and just terrorise her with love, which we very much appreciate of course. When that happens, my roommate and I can enjoy a cup of coffee and some (finally!) TV in peace.

escaping baby charley

Visiting Assumption College is also another joy for me because teachers and friends love to carry Baby Charley, too. Yes, when we’re surrounded with 10+ teachers who can’t wait to experience some Baby Charley cuteness, we could enjoy just sitting down and watching them adore her.

Of course, Baby Charley’s naptimes and afternoon power naps are excellent opportunities for mini vacations. Since her morning/noon nap usually lasts for 2 – 3 hours, my roommate and I use the opportunity to have some decent adult conversations, work on my blogs, and basically do whatever we’re supposed to do. Sometimes, I take the opportunity to catch some zzz’s, too. During her powernaps, however, we use the time to prepare for her 6pm habit and our dinner, too.

Finally, when Baby Charley is asleep by 7pm, I check some papers and prepare my lesson plans, read a book, sleep, while my roommate works on his reports, surfs the net, and just does whatever he needs to do.

New mommies, seriously, if you can find time to have your own mini vacations from your babies, please do so. It doesn’t make you less of a mother if you also find time for yourself.ü

Babies are not made for beaches

Just recently, my family from my husband's side, decided to head to Lobo, Batangas for an overnight swim. It was unplanned, and we were just informed a good 25 minutes before we left for Lobo.

our commute on our way to Batangas

Since I'm more of a planner, this kinda triggered my amygdala for 25 minutes, too.

How many clothes should I bring for Charley? How about water? How about diaper? Mosquito patches? PJ's? And the list went on and on and on and on.

Charley didn't even have a swimsuit yet. Not that it was a problem I learnt later on.

Princess Watermelon

It's quite fortunate that my husband's family has a house there so accommodation was not a problem anymore. So was the transpo going there. We took an Innova, where the mommies and kids are, and our old reliable owner type jeep, where the dads and the yayas are.

beach means sleep

After an almost 1 hour drive, we reached Sitio Danlagan where our house is. The beach is very accessible from the house, so that pretty much excited our rambunctious nephews and nieces. By this, I'm talking about a 6 year old, two 4 year olds, and two 11 month old children...plus our 3 month old Baby Charley. So you can say we almost literally brought the house down.

The following day, 6 children, 4 mommies, 3 daddies, 3 yayas, and 3 titos headed to the beach. Baby Charley didn't wear a swimsuit and she didn't care. She made it clear from the very start that she hated the water. Prolly because it was around just 7 am and the water could be a bit cold. However, right after we dried her and changed her clothes, she went straight to slumberland.

The wind was cold and fresh and it was very good for Baby Charley. Sure, she might be too young to enjoy the water right now, but I'm not worried that she would love it when gets a little older. And when she has an appropriate swimwear already.ü

The beach just across the street 

Why You Shouldn't Leave the Baby Alone with the Daddy

Baby Charley and her Dad have a very special bond, and it's quite obvious with the random things I discover about them. Random tricks Baby Charley does with her Daddy. 

In this video, watch Baby Charley's Puss In Boots (a Team Hernandez Terminology mentioned in this post) dances as her Dad claps his hands. 

Believe me, Mommy, do not leave your babies alone with the dad because they instantly become a toy.ü

One and Done. (We think)

We can't say that this is our final answer, but as of the moment, my room mate (my hubby, btw) and I are 99.9% certain that we're happy with just having Baby Charley.

Yup. that means having a sibling or siblings for her (as of the moment or any time soon) is totally out of the question.

We just want her. Just her.

Period.

Many (including my OB) have been surprised when we tell them that we just want to have an only child. One and done ika nga. This is a decision I am thankful that my room mate and I share.

Why give the river when she
can have the entire ocean? 

We wish to give Baby Charley the world.

Okay, so does this mean spoiling her and giving her her heart's desire? Absolutely not!

There is such a thing as responsible spoiling. It means you provide your child with almost everything, but not all the time. Only when she deserves it.

Okay, I kinda made this one up, but that's what I have in mind.

Give me good grades, and I will let you watch those hormonal boyband "sing" and "dance". Something to this effect.

Responsible spoiling. 

My roommate and I want Charley to experience the things we enjoy and also the things we weren't able to experience - traveling the world; not waiting for our birthdays to eat in a fancy restaurant that serves good food, really good food; being able to study in a really good school; going on a Disney Cruise (okay, maybe it's me who want it); watching Disney On Ice at Smart Araneta; and having her own car by her 18th birthday.

With just her, we'll be more financially stable. I hope.

Pregnancy is not a walk at the park. So is giving birth.

Since my roommate and I are both in our 30's already, we are really considering my health and our next baby's health since studies show that it is quite risky to give birth by the late 30s. This could be a case to case scenario though, but as much as possible, we don't want to take the risk.

Besides, we will have been 60 by the time Charley is 30! Gosh, I would have been so wrinklish by the time I will have gotten my first apo. Totally not cool.

Since we're seriously considering this "One and Done" option as of the moment, we have to make sure that we prepare Baby Charley to face the world with just her.

Bbbbbuuuuutttt, that's another topic for a different post. Right now, we're simply enjoying having just Charley and keeping up with her alien-ish antics.ü

The Only Man in Our Princess' Eyes

My daughter and her Daddy have a very special relationship - even I can't break through. I could feel how close they are with each other that makes me "jelly" at times, but thinking about it...I just love watching them together. 

When I was still pregnant with Charley, my roommate (my husband, btw) loved talking to her. Sometimes, he would read her stories or simply make kwento how his day went. It was one of the first daddy-daughter bonding they had together. Baby Charley would sometimes respond (I think) with tiny kicks in my tummy. 

Roommate has a 7pm - 4am work schedule. Sometimes, he would come home around 4:30 or 5am. There are rare occasions that he would be home by 1 or 3am. However, regardless of what time he would be home, baby Charley (still in my tummy) "knew" that he's home or was about to come home na. I could feel her jump - nope, somersault and do the wave in my tummy. Quite painful at times, these "waves" seemed like a "Welcome home, Daddy" greeting to me. Whenever this happened, I knew that the main door downstairs would open soon. This has happened without fail. 

When I gave birth, we weren't able to see baby Charley right away. She needed to be kept in the NICU until our discharge from the hospital. Yes, that meant three long agonising nights for my mag-ama. My roommate, however, would drop by the viewing room whenever he's allowed to see his daughter. Yes, he would leave me alone in the room - with the IV, catheter, and all - just to take a peek of his precious princess. 

My man and his girl

The first thing my husband did when we finally got home, despite in-law's warnings, was to snuggle, carry, and sway baby Charley. Spoiled her he did! He would do this tirelessly until we, I mean I, fall asleep every night. In fact, I'm not sure whether he sleeps at night. When Charley moves in her crib, he would be the first to check on her. When she cries or even whimpers, he would carry her right away. When Charley loses her one of her mittens, he would get a new pair and make sure they're still bagay to her outfit that time. When my Mom bought Charley her binky (pacifier), he was the only one who felt sorry for Charley wasn't able to cry in full blast. Thankfully, Charley loves her binky now. 

Because of all these, it's not rocket-science why my daughter - whom I carried for 9 months, who gave me all those "battle scars" from PUPPPs and C-section delivery, who was the reason I suddenly became allergic to eggs, who made me gain weight beyond my wildest expectations, who was the reason behind my ugh eye-bags and belly fat - prefers her Dad over me. Simply put, I am but a vessel - a baby carrier for 9 months and a milk provider for the mean time. 

She would cry on me until her Daddy gets her from me as if I'm the kontrabida in her teleserye. She would coo, smile, and laugh more at him than she would at me. She would smile at him and giggle with joy when he picks her up from her crib, but frowns and gives me her legendary death glare when I pick her up. During her 6pm witching hour, she would turn her towards her Daddy whenever I try to soothe her. It is a bit insulting - considering I'm her mother, but really I love watching them like that. 

I love seeing how they just melt at each other. Or how they seem to be each other's stress ball. Or how lovely they just are together. 

Perhaps every daughter has this special relationship with her father. I've witnessed this, too, among my students and their fathers. I adore how Doc Buboy looks at Ella and how this hormonal teenager would become a baby again at the sound of his voice. Or how Ghost Girl is very protective of her Dad in his new relationships. Or how many of my students would write an essay on how their dad is their hero. As a young mommy, it was just a lovely sight to behold! 

Years from now, her Daddy would start teaching baby Charley how to walk, ride a bike, drive a car, and break a boy's neck should he break her heart. She would start talking, calling his name, telling him secrets, then hiding some from him. He would start bringing her to play dates, driving her to endless birthday parties and some sleep-overs, and then soon worry about her going on dates, soirees, and school fairs. She would soon join him in watching UFC and everything Disney, then some chick flicks with her girl friends, then pretty soon some rom-com with her (gasp!) boyfriend! 

My roommate and I know that baby Charley is not ours forever, but he is going to make every moment precious while he is still the only man in his princess' eyes.